Life as a Married Lady

So, we've been married since March 2009 and it's been a good 9 months!!! (Yikes, I just counted it out on my fingers!)

I can't believe it - no wonder people can be married for 5 years and suddenly be shocked! And of course, on the other side of the spectrum, there are people who have been married 5 years and are shocked that they haven't killed their spouse! hehehehehehe

My mum just told me last month that even though we've been married 'so long', she still keeps telling people 6 months until one day her hairstylist corrected her and said - hello!!!! wakey wakey! 8 months already-lah!

It's not all been smooth sailing especially in the beginning - we had a couple of fights.....the strange thing is that we didn't have fights over differences in habits/living styles.....I didn't have to complain about him not picking up his clothes or anything though there was a period of learning to put the toilet seat down! hehehehehe

So in a sense, it's been very placid on the lake of habits.....what DID we fight about then? Gosh, I can't really remember....I think for us, fights usually crop up when I'm in a bad mood and get cranky at him, and he doesn't have the patience for me and gets cranky right back. Which makes me think, HELLO!!!! You are supposed to be nice to me. When I got calmed down, I would sit and talk with him and tell him that my idea for good issue resolution (oklah, I didn't use those words!) would be that if I get upset, he needs to stay calm, and when he gets upset, I need to stay calm. Cos we are both very temperamental people and moody sometimes.....like my mum used to say that I would wake up on the wrong side of bed in the morning and god help anyone who came near me.

So, that was one thing we had to get used to and he the other thing was about the way we showed our love for each other. We weren't used to seeing the little ways cos the techniques we had were abit different. Like I would nag and he would see that as....well....nagging and not taht I love him to want things to be better. And so we had a talk about giving the partner what he/she needs and not what you think they want/need.

But as time went on, we grew to be more patient with each other, the love is stronger than ever and yes, what people say is true - it does take work - as in it takes the effort and commitment you know you want to put into the marriage because it means something to you. Like when you're upset at him too and want to shout back or NAG NAG NAG but you know it won't be something he likes, and you take the time to calm down and speak with him respectfully and lovingly and try to make him understand your perspective. And the partner needs to want to try to understand (at the very least) and attempt to internalise the change required if it is indeed, what they both decide would be good for them as a couple. So it takes wanting to be mature, wanting to see the other person's value system and requirements for a happy fulfilling life and being supportive.

We've been neglecting our friends alot and we know this.....but we seem to still be in that stage where we're honeymooning and we want to be with each other? We try to rectify this sorry situation (the neglecting friends I mean) but so far....not yetlah....Sigh, how do people find the time? Yeah, I know life isn't all about work but when it keeps creeping over.....what to do? How do we stop it? The next bonus/increment is based on that wor!

But I do know I don't want to live to the end of my life and look back and see that work was the majority of it! I want to spend time with my husband, spend time with my family, travel with them or just read beside them even without speaking - it's enough cos at least we're together.

It's enough when we're together.