My 3 month old BABE!

The First Years True Fit Convertible Car Seat

The Motherhood Expo 2011 - Wow, talk about a small expo! Only 1 hall at MidValleylah. Nevertheless, I bought some stuff - BabyOrganix Top to Toe Cleanser Buy 3 Free 2 as well as visited Jusco downstairs for some much needed new clothes for Baby Julian - who would think 6 sets of baby clothes would cost almost RM100 with 10 and 20 percent discounts at that!!!

Then we rushed off to Shah Alam to get our The First Years True Fit Convertible Car Seat. It's so cool and yes, I got it from LittleWhiz.com. Since delivery was RM100 and upon checking the GPS in my phone where it told me the warehouse/showroom was only 25km away, we decided to drive on over to have a look before buying it. There was a display unit on show at the expo but it was the original True Fit whereas the one we bought is the latest in the line - after it won the 5Star award from America's National Highway Transportation Administration (NHTSA) for 'Ease of Use'. As they see it, if a car seat is easy to install and use, it is less likely to be installed and used incorrectly. It's a nice colour as well - the Urban Life.

We saw display units (apparently shops only get 1 unit a time) in Jaya Jusco (MidValley and Sunway Pyramid only) and Mom's Care and even at Mothercare so with the existing RM200 discount at LittleWhiz and it being a new unit, we felt we had to drive to Shah Alam lah. Only Jusco had the same RM200 discount from its original price of RM999. Everyone else only had a RM100 discount.

Will try to use it when we drive back home soon and see how it goes. So far, we've put Julian in it now for some time and he seems to enjoy it. It must be as comfortable as it claims to be. The seat is very deep as it is ready for newborns all the way to 12 years old or 65lbs. So now we push his butt into the deep hollow to make sure his spine is straight and he's sitting on his butt and not curled up like a C.

He was smiling just before the shutter clicked! PROMISE!

Side view

Full Frontal



Ok, this one is just to show off my babe! :)



Controlled Crying

Yeah, that's what we've been practicing but it kinda fizzled out before the end of the first week. I usually feed him, then rock and sing to him abit until I see that he is sleepy and then just put him in his cot. The times when he's not sleepy and fusses I pick him up - well, if he isn't sleepy, he isn't sleepy right? Especially when the days have been raining and he's sleeping the whole of the day.

I can't bear to see him cry even though it did get easier as time went on but yeah, this is my time to bond with him and for him to realise and know that I love him and will always be there for him - how can I leave him to cry for hours when that is what is staring me in the face?

As with anything else, I guess phases will end....and I was pretty much doing Controlled Crying to teach him, not to fall asleep himself, which he can do, but for him to realise and learn that people can't carry him ALL the time. Yeah, Julian doesn't like being left alone. But then I read that premature babies are usually more fussy and more demanding and that the extra cuddling etc helps mold a balanced, confident human being so I am SOLD! :)

I just want him to be happy, know that he is loved, balanced, healthy physically, mentally and spiritually and well-rounded. That is all - a Mother's Prayer.

Back to Work!!!!

The best places to touch a baby are (in no particular order):


1. his butt
2. his elbow (I like pinching the little valley there)
3. his knuckles
4. his michelin arms
5. the back of his neck.

Wow! I can't believe 3 months have flown by, I am almost due to go back to work and I can't imagine it. Yesterday he spent the afternoon with the nanny while I watched 'Eat, Pray, Love' and when the movie ended, I couldn't wait to get back together with him. I missed him so much!

He started discovering his fist and mouth earlier this month and a couple of days ago, managed to get one thumb into his mouth! So exciting though Ju Han says it's a bad habit and apparently can damage the growth of his teeth but it is sooo cute when he tries to get his hand into his mouth....I have been leaving his hands and feet bare since he's been 2 months so that they can develop, he can explore them and also so he won't be so hot in the middle of our Malaysian afternoons....so have had to clip his nails every so often (and boy do they grow fast!!). Even so, today he played with his hands and scratched many red welts into one half of his face! I am thinking he is right handed.

So, anyway, we are off to my hometown soon - can't wait though Ju Han is worried about the long drive back. I am so excited to show him off and of course just to share him with the many people who were so generous and happy when he arrived! Hope he demonstrates his happy nature - he can smile and laugh responsively now.

We're off to the Motherhood Expo 2011 tomorrow to get a car seat...I am, well, We are, again, partial to the First Years brand since we have used them and found them great. Again, I state, I love their items cos I feel they were developed with a mother and child in mind. Everything has a function and aesthetically they look fine too. But basically, the most important thing is that the entire design is always made to facilitate the mother and child - and they're also kinda like Ikea - any little space/portion, if can be made to house an aid of use, will. The only thing I have of theirs that I think isn't necessary for me is the magnifying glass that comes with the nail clipper. I wasn't going to buy that one anyway - they have an ordinary one as well - but when the time came to buy, it seemed like the ordinary one was out of stock - I couldn't find one with a bloodhound!

The days have been raining so much here in the afternoon and we're kinda concerned with the radiation dust
particles coming down with the rain so I can't take Julian out in the evening anymore. I could take him out in the morning but we usually sleep in.

I'm in the midst of planning my back to work routine - like what time do I 'force' feed him before I hand him over to the nanny and I get ready for work. Then I'm off for 9-10 hours, hope to be back by half past six so I can spend some time with him before I zoom off to the gym....It's amazing and sad to think that in a 12 hour day, I only get to see my son a total of 4 hours on the days I go to the gym....sad that the most time I spend with anything is with a job! Priorities!

I also think that maternity leave should be 6 months long and up to the mother to choose when she wants to exercise it. This is cos the first 3 months (and I AM grateful for a 3 month long leave) the baby only sleeps and poos and eats....yes, there is bonding and should be lots of cuddling but the baby doesn't really recognise anybody yet except for the mum and dad and that too cos he's spent so much time listening to them and feeling them while in utero. So if it were me, I would take 1 month off immediately after birth to rest and recuperate, and then take off again at the 4th month when growth and development starts then 6th month when he learns how to sit up and play, maybe crawl and then 9th, 10th and 11th month when he's starting to walk and move around.

As it is I have to depend on the kindness of 'strangers' to educate and teach and play with my child when it's most important - Now I can understand why overseas, people take off the first or first couple of years to spend with their child. It's invaluable and more importantly, irreplacable.

Last night's sleep....

...went easy. He was out like a light following his bedtime routine of a feed and a song....Here's hoping it will always be like this!

But yesterday afternoon I had to let him cry a couple of times....heart wrenching still especially cos this one has the heart and will power of a tiger and he just.won't.back.down. He cries til his little arms are cold to the touch meaning he's expending all his oxygen on the wails.....but of course I keep track of it. Once, he cried for 35 minutes with me checking in on the 10th and 15th minute intervals and then later in the day, he cried for just 6 minutes, then stopped and I was going to go in and reward him with a cuddle when he started again.....he then proceeded to cry for 4 minutes and stopped.....Yeay.....

Disciplining the Kid

Wow, tonight is when we start to train Julian to fall asleep on his own and to not always demand to be carried. It breaks my heart but we are implementing the Controlled Crying technique where we let him fret/cry for certain periods of time before going to reassure him that we are there but that he has to go to sleep. Then we leave - without picking him up. Oh my Heart! :(

Tonight we put him to bed following his bedtime routine at 10pm. He fretted by himself for approximately 10 mins then it escalated into crying full force by 10.15pm. We let him cry for 10 minutes then checked on him. We told him gently and firmly while patting him that it was bedtime and we love him. Then we left him again. He almost immediately stopped crying after that! But then it started up again for a little while before winding down and he fell asleep!

Then later in the night it started again and we waited 10 minutes again however, since it was about 2 hours since his last feed, we thought it best to feed him - after all, we are not trying to be cruel to the little tyke! Just some discipline but he needs to know we love him and will be there for him when it's necessary, not cos he demands it!

After the feed, we told him again it was bedtime, kissed him goodnight and put him down to bed. So far, so good.....he hasn't fallen asleep yet but my keyboard is rather loud......though we need to ensure he can sleep with some noise cos no situation/environment can be perfectly silent.

It's most definitely not easy - I had to leave the room the first round cos I can't bear to hear him cry and most assuredly, mothers!, steel yourself when you go in for reassurance - the little tiny face is almost too much to bear with little red swollen eyes and wet cheeks - lordy!

If your kid doesn't stop crying after the first ten minute check, you've gotta wait a little while longer like 12 or 15 minutes before the next check and keep lengthening the duration of letting him cry. Although like Ju Han stresses, we have to be aware that after some long crying periods, legitimate reasons for him to cry such as he is hungry or dirty or uncomfortable could arise, so to be aware of that and to check for that too.....

So, I pray that Julian learns this lesson quickly so we both don't have to cry so much! :)

The days of yester....months

I can't believe it's almost 3 months now that Baby Boy Julian was born. He's changed so much and still changes from day to day. His vocabulary is increasing - he can now scream in addition to saying 'Geh'. Hhaahahhaha....

I spend a lot of time looking at him now (thanks to my employer for 3 months matenrity leave!) and have begun kissing him at every opportunity. Before, I was quite hesitant to handle him but now I do so with aplomb - switching arms and 'manhandling' him every so often and without much guilt.

He's started enjoying his bath times - no more screaming (touch wood) and depending on how we ease him into it, also more patience when he's playing the role of 'Naked Baby'. Oh no, if he reads this when he's older, he's going to be so embarrased! My sweetest cherub! :)

My mother in law today 'warned' me that time will fly so I'd best enjoy my youth, my beauty and my babe.....I know the philosophy but practising it is another thing altogether but I reckon Ju Han and I should sit down and have a list of what we can do everyday or every week that will make happy times for us. Becuase it's true, time will fly and there will be nought but old bones and dust.....so now I'm online shopping for shoes - what could be better! :)

Baby POO

Not sure what your baby's poo means? Well, check this site out - I LOVE IT!!! :)

It's the Essential Infant Resource for Mums.

7 weeks and the world as I know it is different

I can't Julian has only been here 7 weeks and already he's affected so many people's lives. My family can't get enough of him and I still haven't been able to stop staring at him. He has changed so much since Day 1, I can't even begin to describe it. He's found his voice and can now scream, umm...well, he's been screaming for like 2 weeks now and NOW now, his scream has a little something different again.

He's quite impatient - if he's hungry, he wants his milk now. He used to not be able to tolerate a dirty diaper, now he's better at it. Still poos the way rabbits bonk though and I am slicing through packets and packets of Pet Pet, Drypers and Mamy Poko......

We've taken him out into the Big World so far - once on CNY Day 1 for a visit to his Great Grandma and a vegetarian lunch and also on Feb 6 for Grandma Penang's Birthday Dinner. Both of which Julian slept right through. He's a sleeper this one....except after the sky turns dark. Oh my god, the past few nights, he's just been bright-eyed and bushy tailed from about 2am until 6am! Which means mum is dark-eyed and bushy haired from staying up with him. He also loves being held which means no rest time and the arm is certainly building up its biceps. One time, I even fell asleep with him in my arms and on me as I reclined in a sofa seat - dangerous as heck I know but it happened and I woke up before I knew it.

The poor boy seems to have an immature digestive track still though and keeps spitting up his milk still - not helped by the seemingly enormous amount of gas he seems to have. Perhaps courtesy of my feeding bottle or my diet...am uncertain about that but so far I haven't changed anything. Tried one time, Gripe Water, which didn't seem to work any miracles, as so oft is claimed, and even tried bicycling his legs and rolling a hot water bottle over his tumtum, both of which, also zilch effect. He seems to get most farty around midnight....strange! That's when the farts come out to play! All I can say is, thank god the internet is free cos I have certainly been burning the bandwidth checking if this or that is common for babies his age.

Being a first time mother, I've got a gazillion things I'm worried about for him....even as I try to goo-goo-ga-ga at him as he learns to use his voice (I promise you, I heard 'Ma' 2 days ago!!!). I worry about him choking on his milk if he drinks too fast or milk spouts too fast at him, I worry when he spits up sometimes, what seems to be like an ounce of milk, I worry that he doesn't get enough sleep (recently), I worry about his gas, I worry as heck about his nanny not taking proper care of him!!! (that's a biggie!). I worry that I worry too much! In fact, I know I worry too much and the other day, after this eureka moment, I told myself, that he seems to be growing well, gaining weight, can smile, and that I should just let him be, give him his space and freedom to grow as other little boys without an over-protective mother. But that though flies right outta my mind when he cries in the middle of the night and I don't know what is wrong or what it is he wants - he's just fed, his diaper's not dirty....What.Is.It Boy????

And yeah, I worry about the fact that I can't seem to differentiate his cries too...which people say should have happened by now. I don't see a pattern, I don't hear a similarity, perhaps I'm just not doing very well. :(

In a previous post, I write about Motherhood being a lonely journey. I must add it is Scary for a new mum. And sometimes, I must admit, the hormones (are there any left?) really do get to me. I do cry (apparently for no reason it may seem to hubby) and I do worry inside that ayuh, I could be doing much better. Nobody tells me I'm doing a good or crappy job, nobody says he recognises me as his mum or shows me different behaviours he shows no one else, no one asks and really wants to know what's been happening today and how has it been from a baby perspective and from Errolyn's perspective...well Ju Han does tell me I'm doing a good job but he has to do that, he's my husband. At least I don't feel like anyone does. I reckon it isn't hard to do when people can comment that he recognises the nanny and calms down when she holds him eh....AHA - Jealousy, is that you knocking at my door?

The wondrous thing though is that God blesses the mum with boundless energy - I reckon I sleep like 3 hours a night but still manage to function (and write blog posts it seems) without day naps. If I'm not with Julian, I still worry about him, so in the end, I might as well have him with me; is what I tell Ju Han. Yeah, I believe that no one but yourself can do it right the way you want it done! Hahahahhaha....

But going back to the lonely journey - it's scary, tiring and confusing but I wouldn't exchange it for anything. I have morphed into the mum who cannot speak of other things besides her baby and his antics for the day. I feel already, like the housewife who has nothing else to speak of with her hubby - which is a bad thing (in my opinion) cos I want to be able to have intelligent, relevant conversations about life, the world, politics.......

(Hang on, baby just started crying). Oh yeah, another thing I worry about - he loves holding his breath when he cries and turns rather dark or purply which scares me to no end! It's no laughing matter I know but I don't know how else to write this post without sounding depressed.

Life changes, yes, life has changed. In monumental ways that I can process and probably in some ways I can't.

So far, I've been out on my own like twice and it's probably, nay, it Definitely is a good thing to do. New mums MUST get out on their own at least once a week I think. It confirms to you, you are still a person and it gives you some time away from the feeding, the carrying, the changing, the worrying....uh well, maybe not the worrying but at least you still feel like a member of the human race and not just A Mum. Nothing gives you more joy than knowing that when you come home, you're coming home to your baby. So, after the endless litany of crying and such, feeling a rejuvenated sense of knowing you wouldn't have it any other way is just refreshingly joyful.

This blog I put up early on to talk about the wedding and our marriage trials, tribulations and jubilations so that others may learn or at the very least be entertained by my experiences and writing. Now I write about motherhood and I try to bring to the table, issues and concerns and feelings and experiences that others don't talk about. I believe that every new mum, or old one for that matter, feels doubt and worry, feels as if perhaps she is doing everything all wrong - it's normal. The important thing, which I'm still trying to learn, is that you realise you can only do your best, and move on. Every day is different, the time will fly by and his colic would have come and gone, his teething nights come and gone, his fear of going to school and wanting you to sit around and hold his hand all day, yup that too and then, you'll only be able to wish for those times when all he wanted was for you to hold him all day. Yes, I need to learn this lesson...difficult one to remember when I'm trying to calm and shush a fretful baby at 4.45am, the 4th hour going on 5 and my actions are less gentle as I hoist him up higher against my body again...but I must learn never to take it out on him - after all he's only 7....weeks old and no amount of admonishment can make him understand or change his behaviour.

So, for you who wants to know out there, I cry because if I could, I would cry for him, take away his gas pains, or his discomfort, I cry because I worry that I'm not doing right by him, I cry because I just don't know what to do next and I cry because no one else knows or can understand what I am going through right now. The best thing for a mum going through all this is for another current mum (meaning one who has a baby the same age or thereabouts) to say, "Yes, I know exactly what you are going through and yes, it will get better!" Because no one else, and that includes mothers whose kids are grown and flown away will understand what you are going through right now and that is why Motherhood is a Lonely Journey.

TOO MUCH MILK?

Did you know there is such a thing as oversupply of breastmilk? Yeah - check it out! And sometimes, cos of the milk just gushing out of your nipple, baby gets too much of it and can choke and splutter so watch out! As one website put it - it's like trying to feed at a water hydrant! :)

On a separate note, I just saw the 'Baby Whisperer' video on YouTube where a dad calms his crying baby with a simple SHhhhh sound....one of the 5 S techniques from 'The Happiest Baby on the Block' by Dr. Harvey Karp. Sounds interesting.