I'm Not Doing This Very Well At All

Ok, so while I was putting up the last post, baby Julian was with me - he was on the bed and I was supposed to be watching him. He did make some sounds midway through but I just looked up and made some cooing noises - not walking over to the bed to see him.

Later, when I had finished the post and everything - went over to pick him up with the intention to feed him, I noticed some dried-ish vomit speckled on his shirt - and almost immediately, he threw up on himself again. (This morning he had his first supplemental Formula Milk feed).

I was so scared - I quickly lifted him up - afraid he would swallow his own vomit and choke or something. I called for the Confinement Lady and she came and took over while I waggled around like some useless scarecrow ragdoll. I followed her around the room as she took out new clothes for him, wiped down his mouth with some moistened cotton wool and then she made him drink some warm water (like a wee bit of a teaspoon) to wash his mouth out. I felt so helpless and useless.

I guess the common sense of what to do when a baby does this or that can be found in what we would do for ourselves - we would wash our mouths out right? But in the moment, it's hard to know if I would have known what to do.

And most scary of all is me rehashing in my head that he could very well have choked on his own vomit. The nurses at the hospital did say to burp the babies and then let them lie on their side for about 10 minutes in case they threw up. But this was like ages and ages later. I told the Confinement Lady (CL) that perhaps he had taken too much of the Formula since it's much heavier than Breast Milk....and that's why he threw up cos they can do that when they're overfull.

Well, that's my bad story of today. Today has been a full day of no milk, him not latching on, him throwing up and my guilty conscience.

:(