Motherhood is a Lonely Journey

Wow, yesterday I had the most overwhelming feeling of a great sense of loneliness. There are so many people around me, to take care of me and help me with Baby Julian, my husband is around, kind and loving but still I feel lonely.

I feel as if there is no one around who actually knows what I go through on a daily basis on my journey into motherhood. Sure mum and mum-in-law have all gone through it, a couple of times each at that, but then they aren't going through it now, they don't know what anxieties I feel, or wonder I feel when I look at Julian....etc.

Today I don't feel it so bad, probably cos I talked it over with hubby last night and he understood! (WOW!) But yeah, no one really knows what you are going through. You're breastfeeding all day, leaking, sticky (yeah breast milk is sticky - didya know that???), insufficient sleep, worry about baby's each and every eh eh, you can't leave the house/don't feel like leaving the house cos that means leaving baby.....it can all seriously Get.To.You!

If you are a new mother reading this, don't worry about it is what I would say - I think when mums feel this sometimes, it's just normal cos it can be taxing and tiring and wonderful all at the same time when the tiny one arrives. And furthermore, as the decades pass, our worries and doubts about breastfeeding, care, changing etc practices encounter new and different advices and suggestions so all the more we can feel confused and at wit's end.

At the end of the day, do your best and leave it at that and Love your child - that's all anyone can ask of you. I know I have (still) boundless patience with Julian, he can do no wrong so far and if I hear him crying desperately, I hurt inside though outwardly I must look as if I am extremely nonchalant - it's just that sometimes, I really don't know what to do and can only hold him and rock him and talk to him. Hiyaaaaa......

I also find it useful to share with other mums on forums and such! Such a treasure trove of information and knowledge and experience and also motivation, support and kindness from others going through the exact same thing you are at this very moment!

Love and it will all turn out right!